I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
