he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
