Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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