Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
