I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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