i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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