I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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