i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
