She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Randomize
