It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
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