around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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