11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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