thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
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how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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