It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
