I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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