so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
