Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize