all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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