I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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