Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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