i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I understand Curling. That high.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Randomize
