i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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