at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
