p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
