Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
My vagina just clenched in fear
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