They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
