The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
