jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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