Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Randomize
