a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
