Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
