We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
