Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
