Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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