she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
