Can Purell be used as lube?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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