he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
