You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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