need another drink. this is the easiest way
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
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