question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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