Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
