it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I touched a dick in church today
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
