i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
if only i could text you this smell
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
