I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
