this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
