Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
