I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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