I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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