That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
