I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
now i know why i became what i already was.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
