Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
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As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
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It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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