I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize