I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
