can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
