you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
