Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
