I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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