So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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