I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
one might say we're banned from that church
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
