Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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