Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
