if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
